psst: This video was inspired by my friend, Rachael, who has an amazing blog, The Pipeline, that you should probably follow. It's pretty incredible, and oh, by the way, she recently started incorporating giveaways!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Hank's 2012 Montage
Oops. I got caught being an inconsistent blogger (again), but my excuse (this time) is that I have been busy snapping a lot of pics and taking lots of videos of our little man. Here is a 2012 montage of Hank:
psst: This video was inspired by my friend, Rachael, who has an amazing blog, The Pipeline, that you should probably follow. It's pretty incredible, and oh, by the way, she recently started incorporating giveaways!
psst: This video was inspired by my friend, Rachael, who has an amazing blog, The Pipeline, that you should probably follow. It's pretty incredible, and oh, by the way, she recently started incorporating giveaways!
Friday, November 30, 2012
My Sweet Boy.
Four months. Four whole months. Thank you, God, for this boy, our boy.
 |
| Our very serious, but precious, son. |
Tis The Season To Say No
The following post is an article I wrote for my MOPS group last week:
I’m a ‘yes’ girl, and my planner proves it.
Last week alone, I said yes to two doctors’ appointments, a dinner with college students from our church, grocery shopping, a breakfast date with my cousin, a shopping day with my mom, and a double date night with friends. I managed to, in just seven days, cram all of these activities into my schedule while simultaneously performing my obligations as a full-time wife, mother, and student.
This week’s schedule doesn’t look much different.
Scratch that. Yes it does. On top of similar commitments from last week, this week I have added coffee with a girlfriend, babysitting my cousin’s son, Thanksgiving dinner, and, let’s not forget, Black Friday shopping.
So why, you may ask, do I shove into a seven day spread what many would plan over two, three, or even four weeks? The answer is simple. I can’t say no. In fact, I hate saying no. What if my friend never asks me to go to dinner again if I tell her no this one time? What if I disappoint my mom by telling her shopping this week just isn’t going to work? What if I do irreversible damage to my knee because I skipped out on physical therapy? And what if my husband has to eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner one night because I couldn’t fit in the grocery store?
Maybe you can’t relate to my ‘yes’ syndrome and these seemingly irrational fears, but my guess is that you probably can. Our society cultivates ‘yes’ moms which is why we will, no matter what our circumstances are, find a way to drop off our kids at soccer practice, meet up with a friend for a drink, run to the grocery store, get in a thirty minute run, and then return to get our sweaty kiddos…all in one afternoon!
We thrive on busyness. We love when we can no longer see the whites of our planners because we have penciled in baseball practices, dental appointments, mom’s groups, church activities, and lunch dates. We find value in eventful days, days that reflect our hard-working, active, diligent, and productive lifestyles.
Every once in a while, we will look down at our weekly schedule and notice an empty day staring us straight in the face. We immediately think of ways we can fill it. We frantically look for our phone so that we can call that old friend we’ve been meaning to have coffee with. Or maybe we can finally go furniture shopping that day? Or maybe we can fit in that 5 mile run we’ve been meaning to take all week. Or maybe we can…
But, wait. Then we remember that we’ve been telling our husbands that we can’t wait for life to slow down. We are tired and worn out. All we need is just one day of rest to refresh our minds, spirits, and bodies. Then, hesitantly and reluctantly, we say no.
Rest is good. In fact, God calls us to say no sometimes: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). In a culture that demands that moms constantly be on-the-go, we forget that we are most productive when we are physically, mentally, and spiritually refreshed. When we are well rested, we are better wives, moms, friends, and daughters. Therefore, we should learn to—no, we must learn to— say no.
This next week, I challenge you to join me in saying that two-letter cuss word, ‘no!’ Our kids will look at as funny, and our husbands will think we’ve come down with something terrible, but stand firm. Take time to cherish a simple schedule, free of unnecessary shopping trips and breakfast dates. Relax, unwind, and for the first time in a long time, join me in being a ‘no’ girl.
I’m a ‘yes’ girl, and my planner proves it.
Last week alone, I said yes to two doctors’ appointments, a dinner with college students from our church, grocery shopping, a breakfast date with my cousin, a shopping day with my mom, and a double date night with friends. I managed to, in just seven days, cram all of these activities into my schedule while simultaneously performing my obligations as a full-time wife, mother, and student.
This week’s schedule doesn’t look much different.
Scratch that. Yes it does. On top of similar commitments from last week, this week I have added coffee with a girlfriend, babysitting my cousin’s son, Thanksgiving dinner, and, let’s not forget, Black Friday shopping.
So why, you may ask, do I shove into a seven day spread what many would plan over two, three, or even four weeks? The answer is simple. I can’t say no. In fact, I hate saying no. What if my friend never asks me to go to dinner again if I tell her no this one time? What if I disappoint my mom by telling her shopping this week just isn’t going to work? What if I do irreversible damage to my knee because I skipped out on physical therapy? And what if my husband has to eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner one night because I couldn’t fit in the grocery store?
Maybe you can’t relate to my ‘yes’ syndrome and these seemingly irrational fears, but my guess is that you probably can. Our society cultivates ‘yes’ moms which is why we will, no matter what our circumstances are, find a way to drop off our kids at soccer practice, meet up with a friend for a drink, run to the grocery store, get in a thirty minute run, and then return to get our sweaty kiddos…all in one afternoon!
We thrive on busyness. We love when we can no longer see the whites of our planners because we have penciled in baseball practices, dental appointments, mom’s groups, church activities, and lunch dates. We find value in eventful days, days that reflect our hard-working, active, diligent, and productive lifestyles.
Every once in a while, we will look down at our weekly schedule and notice an empty day staring us straight in the face. We immediately think of ways we can fill it. We frantically look for our phone so that we can call that old friend we’ve been meaning to have coffee with. Or maybe we can finally go furniture shopping that day? Or maybe we can fit in that 5 mile run we’ve been meaning to take all week. Or maybe we can…
But, wait. Then we remember that we’ve been telling our husbands that we can’t wait for life to slow down. We are tired and worn out. All we need is just one day of rest to refresh our minds, spirits, and bodies. Then, hesitantly and reluctantly, we say no.
Rest is good. In fact, God calls us to say no sometimes: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). In a culture that demands that moms constantly be on-the-go, we forget that we are most productive when we are physically, mentally, and spiritually refreshed. When we are well rested, we are better wives, moms, friends, and daughters. Therefore, we should learn to—no, we must learn to— say no.
This next week, I challenge you to join me in saying that two-letter cuss word, ‘no!’ Our kids will look at as funny, and our husbands will think we’ve come down with something terrible, but stand firm. Take time to cherish a simple schedule, free of unnecessary shopping trips and breakfast dates. Relax, unwind, and for the first time in a long time, join me in being a ‘no’ girl.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Happy Anniversary! And A Few Thoughts On Marriage...
We all know there are tons of
books on marriage, and I am in no way claiming to be an expert on the topic;
however, I did take a little time yesterday and today (in honor of Scott and I’s
anniversary) to reflect on my first year as a married woman.
If I shared everything I have learned, you’d die of boredom reading this post, so allow me to briefly share three themes that consistently surfaced during my reflection. (For some of my other thoughts on marriage, click here.)
.jpg)
Marriage
is hard.
Like, uh, really hard. What a disservice to friends and family to pretend that
marriage (specifically, your marriage) is a walk in the park! It’s a walk in a
park that is infested with poison ivy and free-ranging, man-eating lions. A bit
dramatic, I know. But think about it. You put two different individuals together, with two different upbringings and two different
perspectives on life, and put them under the same roof. Then, you add a dash of
selfishness and a side of pride and you have a recipe for tough times. I
understand that, as married women (or men), we walk through different seasons with
our spouses, and some of those seasons are more enjoyable than others. Perhaps
now you are in a season with your honey where you are experiencing great joy as
you are learning to work through conflict in a healthy way. Perhaps you are
currently in a season with your spouse where you are experiencing disappointment
or hurt. Wherever you are—on a peak or in a valley—coordinating and sharing
your life with someone else is just plain difficult. In my first year of
marriage, I have had the opportunity to walk through several different seasons
with Scott: good and bad, alike.
Marriage takes work. After considering point one, this should come as no surprise. Because we are marrying another individual, we must learn to understand their differences and compromise when necessary. Understanding and compromising do not come naturally. In fact, I would argue that quite the opposite is true. By nature, we have difficulty understanding and empathizing with ideas or values that aren’t ours. And compromising?! Compromising is for the birds. It’s my way or the highway! Right, ladies? So, we must learn to and work at these things. Scott and I love reading relationship books together (although, admittedly, we have been doing some serious slacking off lately), and perhaps my favorite thing to do when consciously working on our marriage is attending marriage conferences. We’ve been to three, and every time we walk away from them, we are so encouraged and motivated. You can read about our experiences here and here.
Marriage is rewarding. I love my husband. I have the privilege of waking up to my best friend every day. I have someone to parent with, someone to travel with, and someone to experience new things with. Life is tough, but I have someone to trudge the trenches with me, hand in hand. It doesn’t get much better than that.
.jpg)
And, before I sign off today, let’s
address the huge elephant in the room. For those of you wondering “has having a
baby in your first year of nuptials made marriage more difficult?” My answer to
you is “duh.” But it has also made it better than ever, too! Having a common
goal—raising a strong, solid, and we can’t forget studly, man—is so fun when
you have a partner to do it with!
Happy Anniversary, Scooter!
If I shared everything I have learned, you’d die of boredom reading this post, so allow me to briefly share three themes that consistently surfaced during my reflection. (For some of my other thoughts on marriage, click here.)
.jpg)
Marriage
is hard.
Like, uh, really hard. What a disservice to friends and family to pretend that
marriage (specifically, your marriage) is a walk in the park! It’s a walk in a
park that is infested with poison ivy and free-ranging, man-eating lions. A bit
dramatic, I know. But think about it. You put two different individuals together, with two different upbringings and two different
perspectives on life, and put them under the same roof. Then, you add a dash of
selfishness and a side of pride and you have a recipe for tough times. I
understand that, as married women (or men), we walk through different seasons with
our spouses, and some of those seasons are more enjoyable than others. Perhaps
now you are in a season with your honey where you are experiencing great joy as
you are learning to work through conflict in a healthy way. Perhaps you are
currently in a season with your spouse where you are experiencing disappointment
or hurt. Wherever you are—on a peak or in a valley—coordinating and sharing
your life with someone else is just plain difficult. In my first year of
marriage, I have had the opportunity to walk through several different seasons
with Scott: good and bad, alike. Marriage takes work. After considering point one, this should come as no surprise. Because we are marrying another individual, we must learn to understand their differences and compromise when necessary. Understanding and compromising do not come naturally. In fact, I would argue that quite the opposite is true. By nature, we have difficulty understanding and empathizing with ideas or values that aren’t ours. And compromising?! Compromising is for the birds. It’s my way or the highway! Right, ladies? So, we must learn to and work at these things. Scott and I love reading relationship books together (although, admittedly, we have been doing some serious slacking off lately), and perhaps my favorite thing to do when consciously working on our marriage is attending marriage conferences. We’ve been to three, and every time we walk away from them, we are so encouraged and motivated. You can read about our experiences here and here.
Marriage is rewarding. I love my husband. I have the privilege of waking up to my best friend every day. I have someone to parent with, someone to travel with, and someone to experience new things with. Life is tough, but I have someone to trudge the trenches with me, hand in hand. It doesn’t get much better than that.
.jpg)
And, before I sign off today, let’s
address the huge elephant in the room. For those of you wondering “has having a
baby in your first year of nuptials made marriage more difficult?” My answer to
you is “duh.” But it has also made it better than ever, too! Having a common
goal—raising a strong, solid, and we can’t forget studly, man—is so fun when
you have a partner to do it with!Happy Anniversary, Scooter!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Ask and You Shall Receive
Ask and You Shall Receive
We’ve adopted that idea, and for many of our larger purchases, we ask the service or retail provider for a discount. And guess what? Most of them agree! Here are a few things that we do when trying to save a few dollars:
· Ask the seller and then shut our mouths. In other words, put the ball in their court. Ask open ended questions like “Are you able to help me?” or “Are you able to offer any sort of discount?” Then, be quiet! This shows that you are in control and not in a hurry to purchase.
· Be specific. We try this if sellers respond to one of the above questions with a question of their own like “What’s your budget?” or “What kind of discount were you looking for?” Or, if they give us a blank stare that suggests “I can’t believe you really just asked that.” Scott usually does this in the form of percentages. Typically, he’ll ask for a 10, 15, or 20 percent discount (any more than that, and you can be borderline offensive). These reductions can be significant, especially if you are making an expensive purchase.
· Be honest. Explain, without giving too much personal information, why you are asking for a price cut. This could be as simple as “I’m not willing to pay that.” In certain situations (like medical bills), you may need to give a few more details (“We’ve gone from two incomes to one.”).
· Don’t respond right away if you don’t get the answer you want. By telling the seller that you need more time to think about the purchase, you are again showing that you are in control. We’ve found that by being patient, we end up getting very close to what we’d like to pay.
"So I say to you: Ask and it
will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened
to you.” Luke 11:9
Many of you who know Scott and
me, or, if you have read our blog, Thirty Before Thirty (Four), you know
that we swear by this guy. In our casa, Ramsey is a household name. We
took his class together for the first time back in 2010, and Scott proctored
the same class, Financial Peace University, at our church this spring. I won’t
go into great detail about why we love him (you can read that here and here
and here), but what I do want to share is how one of his lessons, “That’s Not Good Enough,” has been really helpful as we have transitioned from two incomes to one. Along with other great tips from this lesson (like the
power of cash), Ramsey suggests that anytime you are making a purchase to ask for
a discount or bargain. We’ve adopted that idea, and for many of our larger purchases, we ask the service or retail provider for a discount. And guess what? Most of them agree! Here are a few things that we do when trying to save a few dollars:
· Ask the seller and then shut our mouths. In other words, put the ball in their court. Ask open ended questions like “Are you able to help me?” or “Are you able to offer any sort of discount?” Then, be quiet! This shows that you are in control and not in a hurry to purchase.
· Be specific. We try this if sellers respond to one of the above questions with a question of their own like “What’s your budget?” or “What kind of discount were you looking for?” Or, if they give us a blank stare that suggests “I can’t believe you really just asked that.” Scott usually does this in the form of percentages. Typically, he’ll ask for a 10, 15, or 20 percent discount (any more than that, and you can be borderline offensive). These reductions can be significant, especially if you are making an expensive purchase.
· Be honest. Explain, without giving too much personal information, why you are asking for a price cut. This could be as simple as “I’m not willing to pay that.” In certain situations (like medical bills), you may need to give a few more details (“We’ve gone from two incomes to one.”).
· Don’t respond right away if you don’t get the answer you want. By telling the seller that you need more time to think about the purchase, you are again showing that you are in control. We’ve found that by being patient, we end up getting very close to what we’d like to pay.
Since we have been asking companies for
price reductions, we’ve saved a significant amount of green. When we moved into
our house, we hated did not love the paint colors that the old owner had
splashed on our walls. They were a bit ‘loud’ for Scooter, so in an effort to
tone things down, we headed to Lowe’s to find neutral and less aggressive colors.
Once we found our color babies, “Sautéed Mushroom” and “Mediterranean Sea”, the
EXACT same colors Scott had in his old house (boy doesn’t handle change well),
Scott asked the Lowe’s employee if we could get some sort of discount. The
employee responded that if we signed up for the Lowe’s credit card (a HUGE
no-no at our crib), we would receive a 5 percent discount. Scott then refuted,
asking for the 5 percent without having to sign up. The clerk did not think he
could do that, so Scott patiently said that he would think about it.
Scott and I slowly put some color cards
back on the shelf, and wouldn’t you know it, not two minutes later, the clerk came back after
“checking with his manager” and offered us TEN percent off of our purchase.
Because we were painting our entire home, we needed a lot of paint cans, so
that ten percent turned out to be the equivalent of one FREE paint can. Call me
crazy for getting excited about saving thirty bucks, but, over time, our
savings add up!
More recently, my window broke in my
car, and we were quoted close to $600 in repairs. Scott initially forgot to ask
for any kind of financial courtesy, but as we were driving back to pick up the
car up, he thought he’d give it a try. By just calling and asking for a discount, the mechanic approved a 10 percent courtesy.
Score. That saved us between $60-70.
I can ramble off several more examples (just
last week, a friend told me that she was approved to have all of her medical
bills written off and did so simply by making a phone call and asking for financial help), but I think
you get the point. Asking for discounts can be humbling, but it is SO worth it.
Even if you are told ‘no’, you can look at other places selling the same
service or product. In this free-market, competitive economy, you are sure to
find someone who will offer a little financial courtesy! It’s so easy, and the
best part about it…no tedious coupon cutting involved (although I am interested in learning how to
efficiently “coupon”…any coupon gurus out there?!). 
And for all my blogsters, I want to
leave you with this little treat (shared with me by a friend) called the Queen of Free. I recently started following her blog and have already scored a
free iced pumpkin latte from Einstein Bagels AND a free dinner from Panda
Express. #yum #um,awesome.
How do you all save money? What are your
tips/tricks? Please share!
Monday, October 1, 2012
To Work, or Not To Work? That 'Tis the Question
There are some pretty standard questions that everyone asks a new mom: Are you getting any sleep? How are you adjusting? Does [insert baby's name] look like you? How is Baby eating?
Along with these inquiries, I often get asked if I am enjoying being a full-time stay-at-home-mama. Variations of this question look like this: Do you miss work? Do you want to go back to work? Do you think you will stay at home forever? Why are you getting your masters degree? Do you think you will ever use your degree? How do you balance school and being a mama?
My quick response is that, yes, I am loving staying at home with Hank. And, no, I wouldn't change it for the world. But, as more and more people ask me about school/working, I can't help but to process and really consider this legitimate question. Why am I getting a master's degree in public health? Do I really want to pursue a career in this field? Am I using my talents/gifts to their full potential by staying at home with my son? Is me staying at home, raising our children, in line with Scott and I's vision for our family?
There is so much to consider, and I feel like I need to be extra thoughtful and especially prayerful before I, along with my husband, make any decision for the future. I often times catch myself in an internal tug-of-war. Half of me couldn't imagine going back to work and leaving my son with another caretaker. The other half reasons that women take their kids to daycare all of the time, and they're fine. And who wouldn't enjoy some additional income? And, there are tons of neat, cutting edge public health jobs; the industry is booming.
With that said, here is where I am currently (physically, mentally, and emotionally):
Physically: I am a graduate student at Indiana University in the Public Health program. I began the program in the fall of 2009, and have been slowly...and I mean suh-low-ley...taking classes to finish my degree. When I enrolled back in 2009, I worked full-time for a dental office, had a new beau (who I somehow convinced to marry me), and had like uh, zero dollars, so a part-time curriculum worked the best for that season in life and has seemed to work well since.
I started out with a duel concentration (Health Policy/Epidemiology), but after taking a core class, Social and Behavioral Sciences, I was convinced that this was the path for me. Essentially, social and behavioral science professionals look at certain populations and attempt to discern why this group of people is making (or not making) particular health decisions. After identifying problems, a S&B worker may try to implement a program or system to help individuals in the group make healthier choices (i.e. smoking cessation programs in areas/neighborhoods where there is a higher incidence of men and women who smoke).
I am currently taking one online class. I knew motherhood would be a huge time commitment, and I didn't want to feel overwhelmed. Fall classes began just two weeks after Hank was born, so I was comfortable taking on one class with a professor who I have had before. My goal is to be finished with my degree by May 2014.
Mentally: Ya, back to that whole tug-of-war thing.
I LOVE spending time with my son, and I feel so blessed and privileged that my husband is supportive of me staying at home with our little guy. When I am around other women who stay at home, and who are great stay-at-home-mama's, I am encouraged and feel like staying at home with our kids is non optional. I love that I am Hank's primary caretaker and love the challenge of shaping him into the boy, and eventually the man, we pray he becomes.
Furthermore, daycare is expensive. Like, really expensive. Had I stayed at my job at the dental office, the majority of my income would go towards daycare expenses (both directly and indirectly). We would not only be paying for daycare itself, but I would also be paying more for things like gas to get to and from my workplace. Recently, I was talking with one of my friends who pointed out that working mamas also may spend more on food because eating out seems like an easier option after a long, busy day at work (and, yes, I do realize this isn't always the case, but it is a good point to consider). So, in theory, staying at home saves our family money.
On the other hand, when I am around working women, or when I am engaging other students in my program, I feel like I would love to be back in the workplace. I like thinking critically and problem solving, and conversations with these people keeps me on my toes. We are in the midst of huge changes in healthcare in America, and I think it would be completely interesting and rewarding to land a great job in this field.
Emotionally: While I truly do find public health interesting, I don't know that I am necessarily passionate about it. I can honestly say that I have loved every single class I have taken for my masters with the exception of biostatistics (typing the word makes me cringe). But really, I just find topics like environmental health, emergency preparedness, and health policy so intriguing. However, I can't honestly say that I am so passionate about one of these topics that I would skip to work every morning.
So, you may ask, am I passionate about staying at home raising Hank? Well, yes and no. I want, more than anything else, for Hank to have a fulfilling, enriching childhood. I want him to learn and grow, to be challenged and tested, and to experience grace and mercy. I think I could be a great teacher for him. But, if I want to be completely honest with myself, the thought of being (almost) solely responsible for upbringing is exhausting. What a huge commitment! And, naturally, I feel pressure to be successful.
Are you still with me? Have I bored you to death? Am I talking in circles? Ya, sorry about that. But, in the words of the great Natalie Imbruglia, "I'm Torn." Great song, by the way.
Here are some things that I believe to be true and that have been revealed to me over the last few months:
1. Being a stay-at-home-mama is one hundred percent a full-time job. There is value in providing for your family in this way.SAHMs are constantly thinking for their children, determining what their needs are and how they can provide them. SAHMs are their childrens' greatest teachers. They influence and shape their children. Most SAHMs also have other, managerial responsibilities like cleaning, scheduling (doc appts, soccer games, etc.), and cooking (I say most because if you know my hubs, you know that he is our designated custodian).
2. Working mamas are equally valuable and amazing. I have told Scott, on several occasions, that I am so impressed with women who are able to work full-time jobs and play the role of 'mama'. I know some women have found really great jobs that they love, so that could make things easier, and I know that sometimes circumstances do not allow women to stay at home. Regardless of the reason(s) some mamas choose to work, I am beyond amazed by these gals.
3. I struggle with pride. Let me be vulnerable. Sometimes, when I think about it, I hate that I am dependent (more specifically, financially dependent) on my husband. How jacked up is that?! He's my husband. We are a family, a unit, but, because of my ego, I hate that he is providing for me. As a result of my arrogance, I feel pressure to work and to have my 'own' income.
On the contrary, I am too prideful to let anyone else raise my child. After all, no other human being on this earth could raise my son better than I could, right? That's how my prideful mind works. Someone needs a slap in the face with a little humility.
Ok, let me wrap this up. In conclusion, I think that every family is different, and that each individual woman should decide--with her honey--what is best for the kiddo(s). I don't think there is a right answer, and I think women should be thoughtful and prayerful when deciding what direction to take.
Right now, Scott and I think I am best suited where I am...a stay-at-home-mama and a (very) part-time student. As Hank gets older and as we add to our family, that could change. I want to be flexible and open to new opportunities and experiences. But, right now, I am loving staying at home with The Hankster.
What are your thoughts? Does anyone else struggle with this? What did you decide? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Along with these inquiries, I often get asked if I am enjoying being a full-time stay-at-home-mama. Variations of this question look like this: Do you miss work? Do you want to go back to work? Do you think you will stay at home forever? Why are you getting your masters degree? Do you think you will ever use your degree? How do you balance school and being a mama?
My quick response is that, yes, I am loving staying at home with Hank. And, no, I wouldn't change it for the world. But, as more and more people ask me about school/working, I can't help but to process and really consider this legitimate question. Why am I getting a master's degree in public health? Do I really want to pursue a career in this field? Am I using my talents/gifts to their full potential by staying at home with my son? Is me staying at home, raising our children, in line with Scott and I's vision for our family?
There is so much to consider, and I feel like I need to be extra thoughtful and especially prayerful before I, along with my husband, make any decision for the future. I often times catch myself in an internal tug-of-war. Half of me couldn't imagine going back to work and leaving my son with another caretaker. The other half reasons that women take their kids to daycare all of the time, and they're fine. And who wouldn't enjoy some additional income? And, there are tons of neat, cutting edge public health jobs; the industry is booming.
With that said, here is where I am currently (physically, mentally, and emotionally):
Physically: I am a graduate student at Indiana University in the Public Health program. I began the program in the fall of 2009, and have been slowly...and I mean suh-low-ley...taking classes to finish my degree. When I enrolled back in 2009, I worked full-time for a dental office, had a new beau (who I somehow convinced to marry me), and had like uh, zero dollars, so a part-time curriculum worked the best for that season in life and has seemed to work well since.
I started out with a duel concentration (Health Policy/Epidemiology), but after taking a core class, Social and Behavioral Sciences, I was convinced that this was the path for me. Essentially, social and behavioral science professionals look at certain populations and attempt to discern why this group of people is making (or not making) particular health decisions. After identifying problems, a S&B worker may try to implement a program or system to help individuals in the group make healthier choices (i.e. smoking cessation programs in areas/neighborhoods where there is a higher incidence of men and women who smoke).
I am currently taking one online class. I knew motherhood would be a huge time commitment, and I didn't want to feel overwhelmed. Fall classes began just two weeks after Hank was born, so I was comfortable taking on one class with a professor who I have had before. My goal is to be finished with my degree by May 2014.
Mentally: Ya, back to that whole tug-of-war thing.
I LOVE spending time with my son, and I feel so blessed and privileged that my husband is supportive of me staying at home with our little guy. When I am around other women who stay at home, and who are great stay-at-home-mama's, I am encouraged and feel like staying at home with our kids is non optional. I love that I am Hank's primary caretaker and love the challenge of shaping him into the boy, and eventually the man, we pray he becomes.
Furthermore, daycare is expensive. Like, really expensive. Had I stayed at my job at the dental office, the majority of my income would go towards daycare expenses (both directly and indirectly). We would not only be paying for daycare itself, but I would also be paying more for things like gas to get to and from my workplace. Recently, I was talking with one of my friends who pointed out that working mamas also may spend more on food because eating out seems like an easier option after a long, busy day at work (and, yes, I do realize this isn't always the case, but it is a good point to consider). So, in theory, staying at home saves our family money.
On the other hand, when I am around working women, or when I am engaging other students in my program, I feel like I would love to be back in the workplace. I like thinking critically and problem solving, and conversations with these people keeps me on my toes. We are in the midst of huge changes in healthcare in America, and I think it would be completely interesting and rewarding to land a great job in this field.
Emotionally: While I truly do find public health interesting, I don't know that I am necessarily passionate about it. I can honestly say that I have loved every single class I have taken for my masters with the exception of biostatistics (typing the word makes me cringe). But really, I just find topics like environmental health, emergency preparedness, and health policy so intriguing. However, I can't honestly say that I am so passionate about one of these topics that I would skip to work every morning.
So, you may ask, am I passionate about staying at home raising Hank? Well, yes and no. I want, more than anything else, for Hank to have a fulfilling, enriching childhood. I want him to learn and grow, to be challenged and tested, and to experience grace and mercy. I think I could be a great teacher for him. But, if I want to be completely honest with myself, the thought of being (almost) solely responsible for upbringing is exhausting. What a huge commitment! And, naturally, I feel pressure to be successful.
Are you still with me? Have I bored you to death? Am I talking in circles? Ya, sorry about that. But, in the words of the great Natalie Imbruglia, "I'm Torn." Great song, by the way.
Here are some things that I believe to be true and that have been revealed to me over the last few months:
1. Being a stay-at-home-mama is one hundred percent a full-time job. There is value in providing for your family in this way.SAHMs are constantly thinking for their children, determining what their needs are and how they can provide them. SAHMs are their childrens' greatest teachers. They influence and shape their children. Most SAHMs also have other, managerial responsibilities like cleaning, scheduling (doc appts, soccer games, etc.), and cooking (I say most because if you know my hubs, you know that he is our designated custodian).
2. Working mamas are equally valuable and amazing. I have told Scott, on several occasions, that I am so impressed with women who are able to work full-time jobs and play the role of 'mama'. I know some women have found really great jobs that they love, so that could make things easier, and I know that sometimes circumstances do not allow women to stay at home. Regardless of the reason(s) some mamas choose to work, I am beyond amazed by these gals.
3. I struggle with pride. Let me be vulnerable. Sometimes, when I think about it, I hate that I am dependent (more specifically, financially dependent) on my husband. How jacked up is that?! He's my husband. We are a family, a unit, but, because of my ego, I hate that he is providing for me. As a result of my arrogance, I feel pressure to work and to have my 'own' income.
On the contrary, I am too prideful to let anyone else raise my child. After all, no other human being on this earth could raise my son better than I could, right? That's how my prideful mind works. Someone needs a slap in the face with a little humility.
Ok, let me wrap this up. In conclusion, I think that every family is different, and that each individual woman should decide--with her honey--what is best for the kiddo(s). I don't think there is a right answer, and I think women should be thoughtful and prayerful when deciding what direction to take.
Right now, Scott and I think I am best suited where I am...a stay-at-home-mama and a (very) part-time student. As Hank gets older and as we add to our family, that could change. I want to be flexible and open to new opportunities and experiences. But, right now, I am loving staying at home with The Hankster.
What are your thoughts? Does anyone else struggle with this? What did you decide? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Consistently Inconsistent
Dangit. This blog was supposed to
hold me accountable. I wasn’t supposed to allow WEEKS to go by without
documenting what it was like to be a stay-at-home Broad Ripple Baby Mama. But I
did.
#Fail.
Instead of wallowing in disappointment, allow me to pick up where I left off. The last time I blogged was August 19th. Hank was a few days shy of one month old. Two days ago, he celebrated is two month old birthday, and in that month, he has grown into quite the young man. Social smiles, sleeping through the night, filling out his onsies…it all happened so fast! Where did my “little” 8 pound 7 ounce newborn go?
Speaking of newborn, I put all of
Hank’s newborn clothes away a few weeks ago. Sad. But, in other “newborn” news,
Hank found out he will be having a little GIRL cousin, Mila, in February. So
exciting! I love that Hank has/will have so many friends and cousins around his
age. It’s fun to think about them growing up together and forming strong
friendships.
Hank and I (and Scott when he is not working his butt off) have lived it up this last month. Walks (usually on the Monon) every day are a must. We run quite a few errands throughout the week and have visitors (or go visit others) regularly. I also try to spend a good part of my day just enjoying this season of life, and, more specifically, enjoying Hank at this age. I am learning all too soon that the “they grow up so fast” phrase is a brutal reality, so I am trying to soak up as many baby smiles as I can. I love that little pieces of his personality are starting to shine.
Hank could not be any more like
his dad. He not only looks exactly like Scott, but he is beginning to act like
him, too. For example, Scott thrives on time by himself and enjoys, on
occasion, being left alone. And, wouldn’t you know it, if Hank is in one of our
arms screaming and crying, we can put him down by himself and he will be
perfectly content. That little man just wants left alone. He is definitely not
a cuddle bug, and I can’t decide if I am happy or sad about it.
We still swear by our Rock N’ Play but love that Hank sleeps in his crib at night. We put up a mobile, and he absolutely loves it. I love that he is becoming more and more alert and can follow objects with his eyes. Hank is also up quite a bit more now during the day, and he requires a lot more of my attention. This is bittersweet. I love that he and I can interact more, but the selfish side of me misses getting extended time to do what I want to do without a needy baby. Wow. That sounds terrible, but I gotsta’ keep it real!
And, can I just take a few
minutes to brag on my husband? Scott is such an amazing, AMAZING dad. He is so
helpful, and even through an especially busy time at work, he manages to make
his family his number one priority. Watching him interact with his boy is
enough to make my heart explode into a million pieces! AHHHH! Don’t be fooled,
now; we are not conflict free (in fact, last night, I about drop-kicked him and
I’m pretty sure he wanted to do the same to me (joke!)). But, man. I am so
blessed to have him. And so is Hank (even though he doesn’t know it yet).
3. Record some sweet (and probably not so sweet) moments with my little man
4. Be a resource to share fun and budget friendly activities around Broad Ripple
5. Be a resource for family and friends to see pictures of Baby P
6. Hold me accountable (You have my permission to call me out if you see me getting lazy.)
Let me end by sharing a few pictures. Adios!
#Fail.
Instead of wallowing in disappointment, allow me to pick up where I left off. The last time I blogged was August 19th. Hank was a few days shy of one month old. Two days ago, he celebrated is two month old birthday, and in that month, he has grown into quite the young man. Social smiles, sleeping through the night, filling out his onsies…it all happened so fast! Where did my “little” 8 pound 7 ounce newborn go?
Hank and I (and Scott when he is not working his butt off) have lived it up this last month. Walks (usually on the Monon) every day are a must. We run quite a few errands throughout the week and have visitors (or go visit others) regularly. I also try to spend a good part of my day just enjoying this season of life, and, more specifically, enjoying Hank at this age. I am learning all too soon that the “they grow up so fast” phrase is a brutal reality, so I am trying to soak up as many baby smiles as I can. I love that little pieces of his personality are starting to shine.
Hank could not be any more like
his dad. He not only looks exactly like Scott, but he is beginning to act like
him, too. For example, Scott thrives on time by himself and enjoys, on
occasion, being left alone. And, wouldn’t you know it, if Hank is in one of our
arms screaming and crying, we can put him down by himself and he will be
perfectly content. That little man just wants left alone. He is definitely not
a cuddle bug, and I can’t decide if I am happy or sad about it. We still swear by our Rock N’ Play but love that Hank sleeps in his crib at night. We put up a mobile, and he absolutely loves it. I love that he is becoming more and more alert and can follow objects with his eyes. Hank is also up quite a bit more now during the day, and he requires a lot more of my attention. This is bittersweet. I love that he and I can interact more, but the selfish side of me misses getting extended time to do what I want to do without a needy baby. Wow. That sounds terrible, but I gotsta’ keep it real!
And, can I just take a few
minutes to brag on my husband? Scott is such an amazing, AMAZING dad. He is so
helpful, and even through an especially busy time at work, he manages to make
his family his number one priority. Watching him interact with his boy is
enough to make my heart explode into a million pieces! AHHHH! Don’t be fooled,
now; we are not conflict free (in fact, last night, I about drop-kicked him and
I’m pretty sure he wanted to do the same to me (joke!)). But, man. I am so
blessed to have him. And so is Hank (even though he doesn’t know it yet).
1. Document my transition from being a
(semi) career woman into a full-time mama
2. Satisfy my need to write3. Record some sweet (and probably not so sweet) moments with my little man
4. Be a resource to share fun and budget friendly activities around Broad Ripple
5. Be a resource for family and friends to see pictures of Baby P
6. Hold me accountable (You have my permission to call me out if you see me getting lazy.)
Let me end by sharing a few pictures. Adios!
 |
| Two Weeks |
 |
| Almost Two Months! |
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Too Good Not To Share
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| Summer Squash or "Patty Pan" Squash |
I don't know that the recipe has an official name, but the cook called it "Stuffed Patty Pan Squash". This weekend at the Broad Ripple Farmers' Market, I found the squash, and it was simply called "Summer Squash" (Sorry. I forgot to make note of the vendor.). So call it what you will, but let me just tell you, this stuff is the bomb dot com.
Here's what you will need:
- Summer Squash (the number depends on how many people you want to serve and how big the summer squash is)
- Sausage (mild). Again, amount depends on how many squashes you are going to prepare.
- Pine nuts to taste
- White Onion (chopped) to taste
- Mushrooms (chopped) to taste
- Italian seasoning to taste
- White bread crumbs to taste
- Shredded Lite Mozzarella Cheese
- Light Parmesean Alfredo Sauce
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| A slice of heaven. |
Every time I have a dish with squash, I love it, but I never think to make any dishes with squash as the main ingredient. Ok, let's be honest. I never think to make any dishes with anything in it. I don't cook (which is why I LOVE our meal train). But, one thing I want to do as a stay-at-home-mama is cook for my hubby (and eventually my little peanut), so here's to hoping. And here's a link to some yummy squash recipes.
And, just for fun, here is a picture of Grandma and Grandpa pushing the little guy home from the farmers' market.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Shutterfly...is so fly
Retro Blue Baby Shower Invitation
Turn your baby pictures into cute baby invitations.
View the entire collection of cards.
I kind of swear by Shutterfly for all my invitations, announcements, etc., and by embedding my latest project in my blog, I get $10 off my next order. Um, score! Cheers to Baby Buckle!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
A Saturday Stroll
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| Broad Ripple Farm Market |
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| Has anyone tried the peach shake-up? Sounds so good! |
Hank will be three weeks tomorrow, and I feel like I am slowly becoming more confident going out with him (specifically on walks) by myself. I have yet to drive anywhere with him (without Scott) because we really haven't needed to go anywhere. Don't worry. I have gotten out of the house and had some "mommy" time, and our walks around town are certainly great for my mental health!
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| Look at all the fresh produce! Yummy!! |
Looking forward to taking more small adventures with my family and sharing them here! This weekend, Grandma and Grandpa Prentice are headed down from Logansport and we might try walking to the Broad Ripple Farmer's Market (which I'm obsessed with, by the way!).
Pictures of my growing boy coming soon!
UPDATE: Scott and I walked back to the Farm Market tonight (Wednesday) and tried the peach shake-up. Let me just say, it knocked the lemon shake-up out of the park. It was SO good. We also saw some pretty yummy dinner served there. We are thinking of going there for a date night in the (very) near future!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
First Three Weeks: What I Can't Live Without
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| Passed out on Daddy. |
Hank is going to be three weeks this Wednesday (Oh. My. Gawsh.), and Scott and I are still attempting to figure this little guy out. While I don't thrive on structure and order (Scott does), I still would like to get into somewhat of a "routine" with Hank so that I can plan my days accordingly. Wishful thinking, right? From what I have read, it takes a baby six to eight weeks to establish regular sleep patterns (and for him or her to sleep through the night), so I may be wasting energy when I beg and plead with my son to show some consistency. Kidding. I'll be patient. And tired.
All joking aside, I think Hank is on the right track. He sleeps in three to four hour increments and only wakes up once during the night. Because I am pumping and feeding, Scott and I have the power to control how much breast milk Hank is getting, and we may or may not stuff him right before bedtime so that he sleeps longer. Selfish? Yes. Brilliant? I think so, too.
As first-time parents, Scott and I had no idea what to except when we got home from the hospital. We had no clue what baby gadgets we would use (or not use), but I wanted to share a few of our "oh-my-gosh-I-am-so-thankful-we-have-this" items. These guys have definitely been helpful in establishing our makeshift routine, and I honestly don't know what I would do without them.
So without further ado, here are my favorite baby items:
1. Medela Breast Pump: This is by far the most important baby gadget we have. I really wanted to breast feed, but Scott and I noticed early on (after two terrible first nights at home) that Hank was not getting full feedings. I would nurse him, and soon after, he would show signs of hunger (sucking his hands, fussing, etc.). This was so discouraging, and I hated that my baby wasn't getting the nourishment he needed. I didn't want to make the switch to formula quite yet because I knew that breast milk provides the best nutrition for little ones, but I also didn't want Hank to sense the stress and frustration I was experiencing while trying to feed him. So, after chatting with my doctor, Scott and I made the decision to try the next best thing: pump and feed.
According to Hank's pediatrician, the only downside to pumping and feeding is that there is an extra step in the feeding process. While I do have to pump and feed Hank with a bottle, I honestly don't think I am spending that much more time during the feeding process than my nursing friends. I pump for about fifteen to twenty minutes, and Hank sucks down a bottle in about the same time. From my understanding, newborns that nurse will spend about fifteen to twenty minutes on each breast.
This probably comes as no surprise, but I am a milk machine. My hubby has jokingly suggested that I apply for a part-time position at Prairie Farms. Because I do have quite the milk supply, I am able to freeze quite a bit of milk that I can use later or donate to the Indiana Mothers' Milk Bank. So, while I do miss that special bond between mama and baby during the nursing process, I am so thankful I can still provide my son breast milk. The Medela pump is a MUST HAVE for us.
(pssst: I just bought this Easy Expression Bustier (hilarious picture) which will allow me to be hands- free while pumping. I haven't tried it yet, but I will let you know how it works ASAP!)
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| Hank resting in the Rock N' Play |
3. The Munchkin Drying Rack: Because I am pumping and bottle feeding, we constantly have bottles and pumping pieces to wash. We have a system to clean all of the pieces in our sink, and the drying rack makes for a very convenient drying apparatus. I don't know that this is necessary for a mom who nurses, but it certainly helpful for us!
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| What time is it?! Tummy time!! |
5. The Meal Train: Ok, in all honesty, this may be our favorite baby thing! Our church set up a meal train for us (as they do for all families with newborns), and we have yummy dinner brought to us every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night for a month! This treat is seriously SO helpful. It has been so nice not to have to worry about making dinner on top of trying to adjust to having a newborn.
6. The Diaper Genie: This made the list per Scott's request. He absolutely loves this thing and talks about it frequently. Not surprised? Neither am I. He loves that it is easy to use and conceals diaper smells. He may get a little too excited when it is time to change the bag out. To each his own.
7. The Monon: The Monon is only a block and a half from our house, and it has been so great for my mental health. I have not been super comfortable driving around with Hank (without Scott), so it has been nice to get out and get some fresh air on a nice trail. Hank, Daddy, and I have taken several walks, and I have also been able to walk with friends Ashley and Melissa.
8. 100 Favorite Bible Verses for Mommy & Me: This is a great little devotional book for my current season of life. No explanation needed.
So, there you have it. Our list of newborn must-haves. I am interested to see how the list changes over the next month. Hank is growing so fast! He is already up to 9 lbs. 5 ounces! (That is almost a pound bigger than his birth weight!)
Friday, August 3, 2012
A Letter To My Firstborn
Children are a gift
from the Lord; they are a reward from Him –Psalm 127:3
My sweet Hank,
Where do I begin? I have so much to tell you. So
much! But how do I organize all of my thoughts in a way that you can
comprehend? I know you won’t understand what I am about to tell you right now.
You probably won’t even be able to understand ten, fifteen, or twenty years
from now. Maybe you’ll ‘get it’ when you become a father? Nonetheless, I have to share my heart with you.
Let’s start with your delivery. Daddy and I went to IU North on a Tuesday evening knowing that there was a high chance of meeting you soon. My doctor, Dr. Karen Gallagher, had agreed to induce me that evening. Daddy and I were incredibly thankful because we were beyond ready to meet you. In my tummy, you were quite the athlete, constantly kicking and punching and flipping. While at first I loved feeling your rather aggressive movements, by the end of my third trimester, I was ready to get you out! Uncomfortable is an understatement. But, you should know, I would experience those sleepless, restless nights a million times over if it meant finally meeting you.
When we got to the hospital around 8p.m., the kind nursing staff started me on my IV and gave me a drug called Pitocin which, from my understanding, helped my body start more consistent labor contractions. I had several “Braxton-Hicks” contractions (false contractions) before I went to the hospital, but they were never painful or frequent. Next, a few hours later, I was given an epidural. This was probably the “worst” part of the delivery, not because it was painful, but because I was scared. Your Daddy and Baba had to leave the room as the anesthesiologist put a needle in my spine to numb the lower half of my body. I remember shaking and sweating because at that point, the reality that I would meet you soon had set in.
At midnight, Dr. Gallagher broke my water. I didn’t feel a thing, but Daddy and Baba said they heard a rush of water. Shortly after, your Baba went home so that during the delivery, it would only be your father, me, and you. We wanted it this way. We wanted time to enjoy you all to ourselves. We wanted to count your fingers and toes and stare at you and fall in love with you. Just us three. And that’s exactly what we did.
Right around 3:00 a.m. (Wednesday morning…only three
hours after my water was broken!), I was dilated to ten centimeters which meant
it was time to push you out. Your Daddy
was abruptly woken up from his nap and upon standing up, instantly felt
nauseous. I could see it in his face. He was pale and sickly looking. He
quickly left the room to get something in his tummy before you made your
appearance into this world.
When he got back into the room (looking a lot better, by the way), I pushed for about forty-five minutes. I never once was in pain. Rather, I felt pressure that indicated you were moving slowly down the birth canal. I was relaxed and slightly underwhelmed. We asked the nurse if you had any hair, and she said that you did even before you crowned. I imagined you with hair my entire pregnancy, so this made me smile. Soon enough, you made your way into this world, and at that moment you changed my life forever.
You were born, Wednesday, July 25, 2012, at 4:24 a.m. and weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces (big boy!) and were 20.5 inches long.
I had always heard that moms feel an instant love
with their newborn, but to be completely honest, I wasn’t convinced I would “feel
it”. I never doubted I would love you, but I didn’t trust that my heart would
explode with emotion once I saw you. I thought that it would take time and that
our love would be established more and more the better I got to know you.
Boy, was I wrong.
I loved you from the instant I saw you. Your dark hair. Your long legs. Your precious face. Even your sweet cry. You had been growing inside me for forty long weeks, and now I finally could see you . Your Daddy was absolutely amazed by you. I know his heart was filled with unexplainable love, too. He took pictures of you and was so proud of his handsome little man. The joy you brought to us in that moment is indescribable. You were our baby, our little Hank, our gift from God.
I wish I could say that post-delivery was as easy as labor. But it was not. Physical and mental exhaustion caught up with me. When we were moved to the room where we would be staying the next few nights, they had to take you out of the room to run a few tests to make sure you were healthy. As they wheeled you out of the room, I lost it. I tried to fight back tears, but I couldn’t. Sure, my hormones had gotten the best of me, and maybe I was slightly delusional, but I did NOT want anyone taking my baby away from me. I loved you so much already. I had to protect you. So, I did the only thing I could do: cry and give Daddy and Baba swift orders to follow you to the nursery and watch you get your tests. They both were compliant.
Over the next few days in the hospital, you had so
many visitors, so many people who loved (and still love) you. Your Baba, your
Grandma and Grandpa Prentice, your Grandpa John and Grandma Jenny, your great
grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and even your pastor. You were
so popular, and so many people told you how much you look like your Daddy. And
you do.
You have his mouth, his chin, his lips, his ears, his head, his legs, his arms. You are his mini me, and he loves you so much. My prayer is that you will get his constitution, too. I pray you are stable and structured. That you are giving and compassionate. That you are helpful and a hard worker. And most importantly, that you love the Lord.
Hank, I have changed SO much in the last week. All because of you. My perspective on life and love is forever transformed. I stare at you and my heart swells with emotion. The Bible tells us that you are a reward from God. And you are. I do not deserve you. I do not deserve your sweet smiles and soft coos. I do not deserve the amazing feeling I get when nobody can calm you down but me. But, because of God’s grace, I have you. I have you to keep and raise and love. And I am so thankful for that. I am so grateful that I get to be your Mommy.
I must admit to you that there was a point in my
life when I swore off children. I did not want to get married, and I couldn’t
wrap my mind around the idea of rearing little ones. And then I met your Daddy.
And we fell in love. First, with each other and next, with you. I didn’t know
it was possible, but because of you, I love your Daddy even more than I already
did. I can’t look at you and not see him. Your Daddy is so helpful, and things
that he does that used to annoy me are things that I appreciate now.
Your Daddy has a classic case of OCD. He cleans and cleans and cleans. And when he is done cleaning, he cleans some more. Before you, I sometimes found his cleaning habits obnoxious even though he thought he was being helpful. Now, because of you, I find his constant need to do laundry and dishes and sweep and scrub to be a huge blessing. He loves to serve. You have been home over a week , and I can count on one hand how many times I have changed your diaper. Your Daddy has changed the majority of them and has it down to a science. He gets up in the middle of the night with you to feed you, so I can get long hours of sleep. So, in a strange, twisted way, you have caused me to grow in my love for my husband, your father.
You have also softened my heart. Before you, I was indifferent
to children. Sure I thought they were sweet and cute, but I didn’t fully grasp
their magnificence. But now I see them in a new light. Babies are helpless and
innocent, true treasures from the Lord. At your first doctor’s appointment with
your pediatrician, Dr. Joe Hanna, a sweet little girl around eight or nine
months old came into the waiting area. Half of her head was shaved, and she had
hearing aids and glasses. As soon as I saw her, my heart instantly broke, and I
began crying uncontrollably. I was bottle feeding you and did not have any free
hands, so your Daddy had to constantly wipe my face with a tissue. The tears
wouldn’t stop. You have brought out a new level of compassion that I never knew
was possible. And for that, I thank you.
One of my favorite memories with you is breastfeeding. I have to admit I didn’t love the idea at first but made the choice to breastfeed because it was the healthiest option for you. After the first few times of feeding you, I felt a connection with you that I can’t put into words. There is just something sweet about the fact that you needed your Mommy, and I got to provide you nourishment. I loved looking into your eyes and feeling your soft skin while you ate. The bond was incredible.
After a few nights, Mommy and Daddy realized that you were not getting full feedings. I would feed you, and after a few short minutes, you would demand more. The process was frustrating and tiring, and I spent many hours crying because I couldn’t meet one of your most basic needs.
So, Daddy and I made the decision that I would pump breast milk and bottle feed you. The decision was tough. Selfishly, I hated giving up that time with you. I hated that I was failing to give you a full belly. However, deep down, I knew that I needed to put my pride aside and choose to make sure you were a healthy, full baby boy. After all, you were still getting my milk.
Since the switch, you have done great. You eat and sleep quite often, but our favorite time with you is “wake time” where we talk and play with you and stare into your big blue (for now) eyes. We take you on walks, have tummy time with you, and shower you with kisses. You are SO precious, and I am so grateful for you.
Your Mommy
p.s. I cried AT LEAST five times writing this, and that’s something you will probably never understand. It’s a Mommy thing.
My sweet Hank,
Let’s start with your delivery. Daddy and I went to IU North on a Tuesday evening knowing that there was a high chance of meeting you soon. My doctor, Dr. Karen Gallagher, had agreed to induce me that evening. Daddy and I were incredibly thankful because we were beyond ready to meet you. In my tummy, you were quite the athlete, constantly kicking and punching and flipping. While at first I loved feeling your rather aggressive movements, by the end of my third trimester, I was ready to get you out! Uncomfortable is an understatement. But, you should know, I would experience those sleepless, restless nights a million times over if it meant finally meeting you.
When we got to the hospital around 8p.m., the kind nursing staff started me on my IV and gave me a drug called Pitocin which, from my understanding, helped my body start more consistent labor contractions. I had several “Braxton-Hicks” contractions (false contractions) before I went to the hospital, but they were never painful or frequent. Next, a few hours later, I was given an epidural. This was probably the “worst” part of the delivery, not because it was painful, but because I was scared. Your Daddy and Baba had to leave the room as the anesthesiologist put a needle in my spine to numb the lower half of my body. I remember shaking and sweating because at that point, the reality that I would meet you soon had set in.
At midnight, Dr. Gallagher broke my water. I didn’t feel a thing, but Daddy and Baba said they heard a rush of water. Shortly after, your Baba went home so that during the delivery, it would only be your father, me, and you. We wanted it this way. We wanted time to enjoy you all to ourselves. We wanted to count your fingers and toes and stare at you and fall in love with you. Just us three. And that’s exactly what we did.
When he got back into the room (looking a lot better, by the way), I pushed for about forty-five minutes. I never once was in pain. Rather, I felt pressure that indicated you were moving slowly down the birth canal. I was relaxed and slightly underwhelmed. We asked the nurse if you had any hair, and she said that you did even before you crowned. I imagined you with hair my entire pregnancy, so this made me smile. Soon enough, you made your way into this world, and at that moment you changed my life forever.
You were born, Wednesday, July 25, 2012, at 4:24 a.m. and weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces (big boy!) and were 20.5 inches long.
 |
| Grandma and Grandpa Prentice |
Boy, was I wrong.
I loved you from the instant I saw you. Your dark hair. Your long legs. Your precious face. Even your sweet cry. You had been growing inside me for forty long weeks, and now I finally could see you . Your Daddy was absolutely amazed by you. I know his heart was filled with unexplainable love, too. He took pictures of you and was so proud of his handsome little man. The joy you brought to us in that moment is indescribable. You were our baby, our little Hank, our gift from God.
I wish I could say that post-delivery was as easy as labor. But it was not. Physical and mental exhaustion caught up with me. When we were moved to the room where we would be staying the next few nights, they had to take you out of the room to run a few tests to make sure you were healthy. As they wheeled you out of the room, I lost it. I tried to fight back tears, but I couldn’t. Sure, my hormones had gotten the best of me, and maybe I was slightly delusional, but I did NOT want anyone taking my baby away from me. I loved you so much already. I had to protect you. So, I did the only thing I could do: cry and give Daddy and Baba swift orders to follow you to the nursery and watch you get your tests. They both were compliant.
 |
| Baba and Hank |
You have his mouth, his chin, his lips, his ears, his head, his legs, his arms. You are his mini me, and he loves you so much. My prayer is that you will get his constitution, too. I pray you are stable and structured. That you are giving and compassionate. That you are helpful and a hard worker. And most importantly, that you love the Lord.
Hank, I have changed SO much in the last week. All because of you. My perspective on life and love is forever transformed. I stare at you and my heart swells with emotion. The Bible tells us that you are a reward from God. And you are. I do not deserve you. I do not deserve your sweet smiles and soft coos. I do not deserve the amazing feeling I get when nobody can calm you down but me. But, because of God’s grace, I have you. I have you to keep and raise and love. And I am so thankful for that. I am so grateful that I get to be your Mommy.
 |
| Grandma Jenny and Grandpa John |
Your Daddy has a classic case of OCD. He cleans and cleans and cleans. And when he is done cleaning, he cleans some more. Before you, I sometimes found his cleaning habits obnoxious even though he thought he was being helpful. Now, because of you, I find his constant need to do laundry and dishes and sweep and scrub to be a huge blessing. He loves to serve. You have been home over a week , and I can count on one hand how many times I have changed your diaper. Your Daddy has changed the majority of them and has it down to a science. He gets up in the middle of the night with you to feed you, so I can get long hours of sleep. So, in a strange, twisted way, you have caused me to grow in my love for my husband, your father.
You have also softened my heart. Before you, I was indifferent
to children. Sure I thought they were sweet and cute, but I didn’t fully grasp
their magnificence. But now I see them in a new light. Babies are helpless and
innocent, true treasures from the Lord. At your first doctor’s appointment with
your pediatrician, Dr. Joe Hanna, a sweet little girl around eight or nine
months old came into the waiting area. Half of her head was shaved, and she had
hearing aids and glasses. As soon as I saw her, my heart instantly broke, and I
began crying uncontrollably. I was bottle feeding you and did not have any free
hands, so your Daddy had to constantly wipe my face with a tissue. The tears
wouldn’t stop. You have brought out a new level of compassion that I never knew
was possible. And for that, I thank you. One of my favorite memories with you is breastfeeding. I have to admit I didn’t love the idea at first but made the choice to breastfeed because it was the healthiest option for you. After the first few times of feeding you, I felt a connection with you that I can’t put into words. There is just something sweet about the fact that you needed your Mommy, and I got to provide you nourishment. I loved looking into your eyes and feeling your soft skin while you ate. The bond was incredible.
After a few nights, Mommy and Daddy realized that you were not getting full feedings. I would feed you, and after a few short minutes, you would demand more. The process was frustrating and tiring, and I spent many hours crying because I couldn’t meet one of your most basic needs.
So, Daddy and I made the decision that I would pump breast milk and bottle feed you. The decision was tough. Selfishly, I hated giving up that time with you. I hated that I was failing to give you a full belly. However, deep down, I knew that I needed to put my pride aside and choose to make sure you were a healthy, full baby boy. After all, you were still getting my milk.
Since the switch, you have done great. You eat and sleep quite often, but our favorite time with you is “wake time” where we talk and play with you and stare into your big blue (for now) eyes. We take you on walks, have tummy time with you, and shower you with kisses. You are SO precious, and I am so grateful for you.
I can’t wait to get to know you more over the next
few weeks, months, and years. I seriously cannot put into words how much I love
you. You are my firstborn, my precious Hank.
Thank you, God, for my sweet son. Thank you, Hank,
for making my heart smile every time I look at you or think about you.
Love, Your Mommy
p.s. I cried AT LEAST five times writing this, and that’s something you will probably never understand. It’s a Mommy thing.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
What in the world is this blog?
Whoa, that last blog was
deep. Let’s lighten things up a bit, shall
we?
So, why blog?
Well, for starters, I graduated with an English degree and thoroughly enjoy writing. (Wait, that might be misleading. I do not enjoy writing because I graduated with an English degree. Rather, I think the reverse is true. Because of my love for writing (and reading), I pursued a degree in English).
Here’s what having a degree in English has not done:
I also love to read blogs and have recently been inspired by a few blogs of women who are currently in the same season of life as me. You can check out Rachael’s blog here, Ashley’s here, and Jaye’s here. These mama’s (or soon to be mama’s) have done a great job documenting some sweet moments with their kiddos (in and out of the womb), and I would love to do the same.
I’d also love to take advantage of (and
write about) all of the “mommy” things here in the trendy little village of Broad Ripple. Scott and I
recently bought a home just north of downtown Indy that is close to our church,
Christ Community Midtown, close to many of our
friends, and close to a ton of fun places—shops, parks, restaurants, to name a
few-- to take your child.
So, why blog?
Well, for starters, I graduated with an English degree and thoroughly enjoy writing. (Wait, that might be misleading. I do not enjoy writing because I graduated with an English degree. Rather, I think the reverse is true. Because of my love for writing (and reading), I pursued a degree in English).
Here’s what having a degree in English has not done:
·
Been
incredibly relevant and/or helpful at my current job
·
Excused
me from making occasional grammatical/spelling errors (so don’t hold me
accountable)
·
Made
me an intellectual
·
Made
a great conversation piece: “Oh, so you have an English degree…hmm…neat…so,
what’s for dinner?”
·
Inspired
me to write a book (and follow through) and/or become editor of a magazine
·
Increased
my vocabulary
·
Made
me fashionable enough to rock skinny jeans and black-rimmed glasses (Picture
the English intellectual at Starbucks pondering and journaling about what
Shakespeare meant when he wrote “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day” in
Sonnet 18.)
On the contrary, here’s is what having a
degree in English has done for me:
·
Made
me a your/you’re and their/there/they’re snob (come on, people!)
·
Provided
me with some foundational skills that allow me to ‘whip out’ a paper or letter
fairly quickly
·
Made
me a better communicator/articulator (on paper)
·
Developed
my love for creativity, specifically in writing
Ok, so I really like writing. But, why blog? Because it’s fun! Duh. I love
the idea of quickly collecting and typing up your thoughts/activities/memories
and posting a few pictures to visually capture your words. My hubby and I
currently have a blog, Thirty BeforeThirty (Four), that is a great way for us remember things we have
crossed off of our bucket list.
I love occasionally going back through our blog, reading posts and looking at
photographs. Goodbye to the ole ‘finding-your-scrapbook-in-the-attic days’. All
of our posts are so available and easily accessible.
The bottom line is that blogs rock.I also love to read blogs and have recently been inspired by a few blogs of women who are currently in the same season of life as me. You can check out Rachael’s blog here, Ashley’s here, and Jaye’s here. These mama’s (or soon to be mama’s) have done a great job documenting some sweet moments with their kiddos (in and out of the womb), and I would love to do the same.
I’d also love to take advantage of (and
write about) all of the “mommy” things here in the trendy little village of Broad Ripple. Scott and I
recently bought a home just north of downtown Indy that is close to our church,
Christ Community Midtown, close to many of our
friends, and close to a ton of fun places—shops, parks, restaurants, to name a
few-- to take your child.
One of my biggest fears of being a
stay-at-home mama is that I would be a lazy mama. I know, I know. All you
current mama’s are thinking about how much attention new babies need and that
there is no time to be lazy. But, I
want to make sure that I am doing little things when Baby P is a newborn (like
putting on clothes for the day instead of staying in my pajamas all day and at least brushing my hair) that get me
in the habit of not being slothful so that when I am able to get into a
routine, I can and WILL take advantage of the many fun places my little town
has to offer.
With that said, this blog will serve
several purposes:
1.
Document
my transition from being a (semi) career woman into a full-time mama
2.
Satisfy
my need to write
3.
Record
some sweet (and probably not so sweet) moments with my little man
4.
Be
a resource to share fun and budget friendly activities around Broad Ripple (See
my hubby and I’s thoughts on money and saving here and here.)
5.
Be
a resource for family and friends to see pictures of Baby P.
6.
Hold
me accountable (You have my permission to call me out if you see me getting
lazy.)
Now, if only this child would decide to
join his anxious mother and father. Scott and I have done just about EVERYTHING
to get this baby out. I currently am dilated at four cm and am seventy percent
effaced. I also have inconsistent consistent
back pain (does that make sense?) and contractions. According to my doctor, I
am in the beginning stages of labor, but without my water breaking or frequent,
painful contractions, I can’t be admitted into the hospital. So, we have the privilege
of staring at each other, twiddling our thumbs, and asking ourselves—over and over
and over—when will this guy get here?!
I hope my next post will have the answer
to that question!
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