Happy Anniversary! And A Few Thoughts On Marriage...

We all know there are tons of books on marriage, and I am in no way claiming to be an expert on the topic; however, I did take a little time yesterday and today (in honor of Scott and I’s anniversary) to reflect on my first year as a married woman.

If I shared everything I have learned, you’d die of boredom reading this post, so allow me to briefly share three themes that consistently surfaced during my reflection. (For some of my other thoughts on marriage, click here.)

Marriage is hard. Like, uh, really hard. What a disservice to friends and family to pretend that marriage (specifically, your marriage) is a walk in the park! It’s a walk in a park that is infested with poison ivy and free-ranging, man-eating lions. A bit dramatic, I know. But think about it. You put two different individuals together, with two different upbringings and two different perspectives on life, and put them under the same roof. Then, you add a dash of selfishness and a side of pride and you have a recipe for tough times. I understand that, as married women (or men), we walk through different seasons with our spouses, and some of those seasons are more enjoyable than others. Perhaps now you are in a season with your honey where you are experiencing great joy as you are learning to work through conflict in a healthy way. Perhaps you are currently in a season with your spouse where you are experiencing disappointment or hurt. Wherever you are—on a peak or in a valley—coordinating and sharing your life with someone else is just plain difficult. In my first year of marriage, I have had the opportunity to walk through several different seasons with Scott: good and bad, alike.


Marriage takes work. After considering point one, this should come as no surprise. Because we are marrying another individual, we must learn to understand their differences and compromise when necessary. Understanding and compromising do not come naturally. In fact, I would argue that quite the opposite is true. By nature, we have difficulty understanding and empathizing with ideas or values that aren’t ours. And compromising?! Compromising is for the birds. It’s my way or the highway! Right, ladies? So, we must learn to and work at these things. Scott and I love reading relationship books together (although, admittedly, we have been doing some serious slacking off lately), and perhaps my favorite thing to do when consciously working on our marriage is attending marriage conferences. We’ve been to three, and every time we walk away from them, we are so encouraged and motivated. You can read about our experiences here and here.

Marriage is rewarding. I love my husband. I have the privilege of waking up to my best friend every day. I have someone to parent with, someone to travel with, and someone to experience new things with. Life is tough, but I have someone to trudge the trenches with me, hand in hand. It doesn’t get much better than that.   

And, before I sign off today, let’s address the huge elephant in the room. For those of you wondering “has having a baby in your first year of nuptials made marriage more difficult?” My answer to you is “duh.” But it has also made it better than ever, too! Having a common goal—raising a strong, solid, and we can’t forget studly, man—is so fun when you have a partner to do it with!

Happy Anniversary, Scooter!