Tis The Season To Say No

The following post is an article I wrote for my MOPS group last week:

I’m a ‘yes’ girl, and my planner proves it.

Last week alone, I said yes to two doctors’ appointments, a dinner with college students from our church, grocery shopping, a breakfast date with my cousin, a shopping day with my mom, and a double date night with friends. I managed to, in just seven days, cram all of these activities into my schedule while simultaneously performing my obligations as a full-time wife, mother, and student.

This week’s schedule doesn’t look much different.

Scratch that. Yes it does. On top of similar commitments from last week, this week I have added coffee with a girlfriend, babysitting my cousin’s son, Thanksgiving dinner, and, let’s not forget, Black Friday shopping.

So why, you may ask, do I shove into a seven day spread what many would plan over two, three, or even four weeks? The answer is simple. I can’t say no. In fact, I hate saying no. What if my friend never asks me to go to dinner again if I tell her no this one time? What if I disappoint my mom by telling her shopping this week just isn’t going to work? What if I do irreversible damage to my knee because I skipped out on physical therapy? And what if my husband has to eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner one night because I couldn’t fit in the grocery store?

Maybe you can’t relate to my ‘yes’ syndrome and these seemingly irrational fears, but my guess is that you probably can. Our society cultivates ‘yes’ moms which is why we will, no matter what our circumstances are, find a way to drop off our kids at soccer practice, meet up with a friend for a drink, run to the grocery store, get in a thirty minute run, and then return to get our sweaty kiddos…all in one afternoon!

We thrive on busyness. We love when we can no longer see the whites of our planners because we have penciled in baseball practices, dental appointments, mom’s groups, church activities, and lunch dates. We find value in eventful days, days that reflect our hard-working, active, diligent, and productive lifestyles.

Every once in a while, we will look down at our weekly schedule and notice an empty day staring us straight in the face. We immediately think of ways we can fill it. We frantically look for our phone so that we can call that old friend we’ve been meaning to have coffee with. Or maybe we can finally go furniture shopping that day? Or maybe we can fit in that 5 mile run we’ve been meaning to take all week. Or maybe we can…

But, wait. Then we remember that we’ve been telling our husbands that we can’t wait for life to slow down. We are tired and worn out. All we need is just one day of rest to refresh our minds, spirits, and bodies. Then, hesitantly and reluctantly, we say no.

Rest is good. In fact, God calls us to say no sometimes: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). In a culture that demands that moms constantly be on-the-go, we forget that we are most productive when we are physically, mentally, and spiritually refreshed.  When we are well rested, we are better wives, moms, friends, and daughters. Therefore, we should learn to—no, we must learn to— say no.

This next week, I challenge you to join me in saying that two-letter cuss word, ‘no!’ Our kids will look at as funny, and our husbands will think we’ve come down with something terrible, but stand firm. Take time to cherish a simple schedule, free of unnecessary shopping trips and breakfast dates. Relax, unwind, and for the first time in a long time, join me in being a ‘no’ girl.